i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
There r osticjed everywhere
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
