I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
