I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize