i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
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