No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
