I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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