It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Randomize