We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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