Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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