is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
