I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
