Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize