they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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