i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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