All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize