and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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