i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize