she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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