VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize