Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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