Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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