the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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