hell yes lets make some ravioli
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
