Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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