my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
