remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
