I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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