So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
