Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
