This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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