using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Quick, to the slutcave!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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