Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
my being single is dangerous.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
