yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
