My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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