first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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