He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
