I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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