And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
