i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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