No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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