$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
