Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
