Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
