i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
