; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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