Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
