You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
