Someone shit on the floor
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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