Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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