I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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