Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You are a genius and a whore.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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