i already hear my dad disowning me
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
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