My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
