she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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