she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
