I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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