She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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