when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
