you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
