I am puke
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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