Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
