I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Redeem this text for a blowjob
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
