Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
