Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
