Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Randomize
